Midieval Mishaps
by nachonaco
Summary: MROUAs, swords, cards, and other random stuff combined to bring you a hilarious fanfic.
1. Witch

A/N: Rarely so does one find an author has parodied her own story. Which is why, lovely readers, I have decided to. For I am an oddball, and several of the people at Middleton High Auditorium can vouch for this. Heck, they all think I'm funny. I think. Anyway, everyone, I hope you enjoy this fanfic, brought to you by nachonaco, and a FULL FREAKIN' CUP OF COFFEE, Y'ALL! Oh, yeah, just to make it incredibly interesting or confusing, depending on your view of the world, it's set in medieval time. Onward, readers! Insanity's ahead for all! Another note, everyone sort of has different personalities than in the actual fanfic...this is just an interesting idea I had while watching 'The Princess Bride'. And yes, in case you are curious and are fighting the urge to flame me, it is supposed to be stupid.  
  
Medieval Mishaps  
  
(Establishing Shot – Town square. Crowds of people gather around Syd, who's tied to a stake)  
  
Syd: This is NOT the way I wanted to spend detention! (to Executioner) Whatever happened to putting the kid in a room for an hour?!  
  
Executioner: Well, it hasn't quite been able to catch on, we prefer torture. (removes hood)  
  
Syd: Aunt Jessie?! You're my executioner?!  
  
Jessie: No, this is my day off.  
  
Syd: So what were you trying to scare me for?!  
  
Jessie: (shrugs) Payback.  
  
Syd: Will you people just leave me alone! I am not a witch!  
  
Crowd: (to Jessie) USE THE LIGHTER FLUID!  
  
Jessie: I told you people, I'M OFF DUTY! Besides, lighter fluid hasn't been invented yet.  
  
Syd: It'll probably catch on.  
  
Jessie: I doubt it.  
  
(A sword lands by the stake, cutting the ropes)  
  
Syd: (looking up toward the sky) Thank you, Lord.  
  
(Ron leaps in on the scene)  
  
Ron: Mind thanking me instead?  
  
Syd: Yes. I mind.  
  
(Buzzer sound)  
  
Ron: Curses!  
  
(Later. Syd and Ron are riding a horse through a forest)  
  
Ron: Did I mention I have horrible depth perception and a slight stigmatism?  
  
Syd: No, you didn't!  
  
Ron: Oops.  
  
Syd: Well, I'll say 'Oops'!  
  
(They stop)  
  
Syd: Hm.  
  
Ron: You're quite picky, do you know that, madam?  
  
Syd: Yes. I do. And I also know that your hair is unkempt, good sir, and your breath smells of meat and cheese, limburger to be precise, and perhaps....YOUR EYES ARE TOO CLOSE TOGETHER!!!  
  
Ron: I already told you I had eye problems!  
  
Syd: YOU HAD LEFT OUT THAT DETAIL!  
  
Ron: You are very picky in the ways of your rescuer, yes?  
  
Syd: Quite. Now, let's go forth through the forest.  
  
Ron: The forest? THAT forest?  
  
Syd: Do you see any other forests around?!  
  
Ron: That's the forest belonging to the MROUA!  
  
Syd: (enunciating it) Muh-rou-a. Don't you mean Maria?  
  
Ron: No! The Mole Rats Of Unusual Appetite!  
  
Syd: Well, that's new.  
  
Ron: You don't get out much?  
  
Syd: Nope.  
  
Ron: How very interesting.  
  
Syd: Do you fence?  
  
Ron: I put up fencing for a living.  
  
Syd: Oy vey. Rescued by a moron.  
  
Ron: ONWARD!  
  
(A MROUA bites his scabbard, pulling down his pants) 


	2. Thief

A/N: cheerleader4life, Syd Lipsky is my original fanfic character. Kim doesn't show up 'til later, if at all. Bwahahaha. Enjoy.  
  
(Establishing Shot - Same forest. Syd leans over Ron, watching him)  
  
Syd: I can see what you meant by 'unusual appetite'.  
  
Ron: My sword! My sword is gone!  
  
Syd: Hey, it's not your spine.  
  
Ron: Meh, that's right. Hey, what happened to the...  
  
(Ron and Syd survey the area)  
  
Ron: ....horse. I hate valet parking.  
  
Syd: It hasn't been invented yet!  
  
Ron: On foot!  
  
Syd: No way.  
  
(Beat)  
  
Syd: These shoes are new, I do not intend to ruin them!  
  
Ron: You're a material maiden, aren't you?  
  
Syd: Of course. Aren't all of us, at the age of sixteen?  
  
Ron: Eh....not most of you.  
  
Syd: Sorcery.  
  
Ron: Let's just continue before the heat makes you even more...er...  
  
Syd: Surely sir, you are not implying that I am a crazy person.  
  
Ron: Oh, no, never, madam.  
  
(They leave the forest.)  
  
Syd: Well, you may not have your sword, but at least we have our money.  
  
Ron: We lost it at the casino a while back.  
  
Syd: Well, we may not have our money, but at least we have our food!  
  
Ron: The MROUAs took that.  
  
Syd: Well, we may not have our food, but at least we have our dignity!  
  
Ron: We lost our dignity when we stopped at-  
  
Syd: Let's not mention that again.  
  
(Beat)  
  
Ron: All we did was...  
  
Syd: I TOLD YOU NOT TO MENTION IT!  
  
Ron: Hey, it was your idea!  
  
Syd: MY idea?!  
  
(A person clad in black runs by with a bag)  
  
Syd: (to Ron) Thief?  
  
Ron: Most definitely.  
  
Syd: Wanna chase after him?  
  
Ron: We're out of money, we have no valuables-  
  
Syd: Correction: YOU have no valuables.  
  
Ron: The point is, we have nothing to lose and everything to gain!  
  
(They follow)  
  
Syd: Think we'll reach him soon?  
  
Ron: Possibly!  
  
Syd: (sighs) Oh no. I'm doomed.  
  
(They chase after the thief) 


End file.
